Approaches to Death
David in Albania brings up an interesting comparison between death in Albania and death in the United States.
In 2004, I took a writing seminar at BU called "Approaches to Death" with Professor David Green. One of our textbooks was "On Death and Dying" by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, who died only a few months after I took the class. The part that rung most true to me, and was reminded of when reading one of the reviews was this assertment of Kubler-Ross': "The more we are making advancements in science, the more we seem to fear and deny the reality of death." I think that is the difference between the Albanian (as well as other more clan-oriented cultures) and American approaches to death.
In America, we have handed over our concept of death to the million-dollar funeral industry. Bodies are taken care of far from the sight of the average person, and presented with make-up, wigs, all kinds of aesthetic changes to make us more comfortable with the fact of death. We pay thousands of dollars for expensive, impenetrable caskets, embalming, etc. Why? After all, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, no?
A week ago, my father flew to Ulqini (Ulcinj, Montenegro) for the funeral of my grandfather's first cousin's wife. She was one of the last old people still living in Montenegro on my father's side of the family. If you ask me, my dad went back to say goodbye to a little part of his childhood. He was there for only three days, but came back energized, not by the funeral per se, but by the very human ritual, as well as its connection to the land and the people. Distant cousins, from Italy, Albania, the US, as well as some slavicized cousins from all the way in Belgrade, came to mourn.
In any case, the body was not embalmed, but refrigerated because of the hot temperatures as it sat in the middle of Zefi Gjonit's livingroom in the village of Zogaj. Science is not a part of this funeral, and really, not a part of the way of life here or in the neighboring city. Chairs lined the room and people sat, talking, in the presence of the dead. Those who heard about the death, through notice, or word of mouth, come to the house, give their respects to the family members lined up to receive them ("Zoti llash kivet," "Past' Dritë"), then views the body, pray, talk, ritualize this death in the way our people "always" have.
I think the posting of death notices puts into the public sphere what Americans choose to do in obituaries. But I think the Albanian custom says, "this is the community member we have lost, come take part in these mourning rituals that are part of our heritage as Albanians."
As Bytyqis mentioned in his comment to David, Albanians also employ professional mourners, vajtarë, who keen at funerals. The dirge, or vajtim, is dramatic, sad, and reminds mourners of the connection between the living and the dead. And because it is an old tradition, it also ties this death with the generations preceeding and the ancestors that were remembered in the same way.
Saturday will be the hatër for Lula Gjonit in New York. I'll add an update on what that was like this weekend.
In 2004, I took a writing seminar at BU called "Approaches to Death" with Professor David Green. One of our textbooks was "On Death and Dying" by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, who died only a few months after I took the class. The part that rung most true to me, and was reminded of when reading one of the reviews was this assertment of Kubler-Ross': "The more we are making advancements in science, the more we seem to fear and deny the reality of death." I think that is the difference between the Albanian (as well as other more clan-oriented cultures) and American approaches to death.
In America, we have handed over our concept of death to the million-dollar funeral industry. Bodies are taken care of far from the sight of the average person, and presented with make-up, wigs, all kinds of aesthetic changes to make us more comfortable with the fact of death. We pay thousands of dollars for expensive, impenetrable caskets, embalming, etc. Why? After all, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, no?
A week ago, my father flew to Ulqini (Ulcinj, Montenegro) for the funeral of my grandfather's first cousin's wife. She was one of the last old people still living in Montenegro on my father's side of the family. If you ask me, my dad went back to say goodbye to a little part of his childhood. He was there for only three days, but came back energized, not by the funeral per se, but by the very human ritual, as well as its connection to the land and the people. Distant cousins, from Italy, Albania, the US, as well as some slavicized cousins from all the way in Belgrade, came to mourn.
In any case, the body was not embalmed, but refrigerated because of the hot temperatures as it sat in the middle of Zefi Gjonit's livingroom in the village of Zogaj. Science is not a part of this funeral, and really, not a part of the way of life here or in the neighboring city. Chairs lined the room and people sat, talking, in the presence of the dead. Those who heard about the death, through notice, or word of mouth, come to the house, give their respects to the family members lined up to receive them ("Zoti llash kivet," "Past' Dritë"), then views the body, pray, talk, ritualize this death in the way our people "always" have.
I think the posting of death notices puts into the public sphere what Americans choose to do in obituaries. But I think the Albanian custom says, "this is the community member we have lost, come take part in these mourning rituals that are part of our heritage as Albanians."
As Bytyqis mentioned in his comment to David, Albanians also employ professional mourners, vajtarë, who keen at funerals. The dirge, or vajtim, is dramatic, sad, and reminds mourners of the connection between the living and the dead. And because it is an old tradition, it also ties this death with the generations preceeding and the ancestors that were remembered in the same way.
Saturday will be the hatër for Lula Gjonit in New York. I'll add an update on what that was like this weekend.
respectfully submitted by Nicholas G. Nikic at 00:07
1 Comments:
Two weeks ago we flew from Albania to our home in Canda for the funeral of my Mother-in-Law. I was puzzled that we all have a philosophy of life, but very few of us have a philosophy of death. Now I feel like doing a bit of reading and I will look up Kubler-Ross's books.
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